Station in life does not immunize us from the experience of loneliness.
- Is saying goodbye to your oldest son as he leaves home to work in a faraway city or seeing your teenage son leaving home for the first time to college in a faraway town or country or culture for the first time. Both you and he feeling the loneliness.
- It is putting one plate of bacon and egg on a table that is bare for want of a woman’s touch
- It is coming home in the evening to open the door of a still and empty house, with no one to share the experiences of the day with.
- Having a spouse who is married to work or who believes the marriage vows were a mistake
- Moving to a new suburb and finding nothing in common with any of the neighbours
- It is about having broken the law and being shut away from your family.
- It is being the family whose loved one is shut away
- It is being 49 years old, successful in career, but desperately wanting a home and family, but having no spouse
- It is having lived in a house for 50 years, a house you have grown to love, and being forced to find a new community when it is demolished for urban renewal
- It is having lost your spouse of 20 years and more, and having no children or the children have left home to form near families
- It is having lost your job or get divorced
- It is when no one understands or your mate disapproved of you or some others do not sympathize with some views of life which is important to you
- It is when a divorce takes place or a person is widowed, the social group to which both partners belonged is less accessible than it was before. There is loss of community. This is community-loneliness
- It is loss of one’s valuables, homes, car or other possessions
- It is loss of contest or athletic game
- It is a world of being handicapped, mentally retarded, or imprisoned or diseased
- It is about having character flaws, irritating habits, arrogant, intolerant, critical, and argumentative and some strange manners that drives others away
- It is being highly successful, affluent in a class of your own. Having moved ahead or away from peers
- It is having low-self-esteem that makes one weak or shy and leads to withdrawal
It is about Emotional Separation in marriage:
- Where one spouse in marriage is romantic, the other is not
- One spouse may have inquiring mind and the other does not
- One partner may have strong sexual drive, the other does not. One may like warm or touching moments, the other is coolly distant
- One may be absorbed in friends or interests outside the family, while the other is family-oriented
- One may be pleasant, loving peace and harmony, the other is combative
- One may be spiritually alive, the other not concerned with God at all
- One may long for wealth and fame, the other is content with simple lifestyle
- One may wish for a feeling of mutual belonging, the other may wish to be personal and fiercely independent, and many more…..
You are nobody till someone truly loves you. You are nobody till someone cares. Find somebody to love and be loved. This is the essence of life, and antidote against loneliness.
Mr. Ayodeji Olulani, MA, MSc, authored the book Coping with Loneliness: Unleashing Your Potentials for Excellence.